tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8652020746892759821.post6721512396224675440..comments2023-03-28T05:27:10.415-04:00Comments on An Ordinary Japanese Mom's Diary: Swimming practiceMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04953459416346536609noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8652020746892759821.post-86839189094169218522016-07-04T08:52:48.832-04:002016-07-04T08:52:48.832-04:00Hello Kumi-san,
It sounds like you have your work...Hello Kumi-san,<br /><br />It sounds like you have your work cut out for you trying to teach your son to improve his swimming skills. I am glad that you got to go to Karaoke. Hopefully you got to sing many of the songs you like.<br /><br />Here is a list of some of the issues found in the rest of the post:<br /><br />This line:<br />"Are you playfully on purpose or trying desperately??"<br /><br />Should be:<br />"Are you pretending to struggle or really trying?"<br /><br />Reason: Sounds more natural<br /><br />This line:<br />He swam 3 round trip in the 25 meters pool.<br /><br />Should be:<br />He swam 3 (round trips/laps) in the 25 meter pool.<br /><br />Reason: Round trips would be plural, but meters would be singular as the number before it already tells you there are many meters in the pool.<br /><br />This line:<br />After finished swimming, he said:<br /><br />Should be:<br />After he finished swimming, he said:<br /><br />Reason: Added filler word "he" to make clear that you were talking about your son also makes the sentence grammatically correct.<br /><br />This line:<br />"I think you should do it after you learn how to swim again,"<br /><br />Should be:<br />"I think you should do it after you learn how to swim again."<br /><br />Reason: Replaced , at end of sentence with .<br /><br />This line:<br />"She can put her face in the water and swim with flutter kick. I taught her and she was able to do it soon!"<br /><br />Should be:<br />"She can put her face in the water and swim using the flutter kick. I taught her and she was able to do it (quickly/easily)!"<br /><br />Reason: Changed "swim with" to "swim using the" as this sounds more natural. Changed "soon" to "(quickly/easily)" as this sounds more natural.<br /><br />This line:<br />She always can do anything skillfully than his brother.<br /><br />Should be:<br />She can usually do things more skilfully than her brother.<br /><br />Reason: Reworded sentence to make it sound more natural. Also changed "always" to "usually" to more clearly indicate that your daughter can usually do things more skilfully than your son. The reason for the change is that using "always" implies that she is better at learning everything and I am assuming you did not mean to imply this. Also changed "than his brother" to "than her brother" as you use her when you are referring to your daughter in regard to your son. Also corrected the spelling of skilfully.<br /><br />This line:<br />On the contrast, my son is so clumsy and he always has a hard time to be able to do something.<br /><br />Should be:<br />(By contrast/Contrast that with) my son who is so clumsy and he always has a hard time doing some things.<br /><br />Reason: The expression "By contrast xxxx" or "Contrast that with XXXX" is a common idiom. You would not start such a phrase with On.<br /><br />This line:<br />I hope he will have a strong mind and not give up easily.<br /><br />Should be:<br />I hope he will (persevere/be strong minded/show perseverance) and not give up easily.<br /><br />This line:<br />Maybe It has been more than 10 years since I went to Karaoke.<br /><br />Should be:<br />It has (maybe/possibly) been more than 10 years since I went to Karaoke.<br /><br />Reason: Word order changes to make sentence sound more natural.Terry Wallworkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15175573589082853160noreply@blogger.com