tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8652020746892759821.post7361022661853102464..comments2023-03-28T05:27:10.415-04:00Comments on An Ordinary Japanese Mom's Diary: Choosing a new RandoseruMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04953459416346536609noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8652020746892759821.post-785040105475546612016-07-01T16:45:01.921-04:002016-07-01T16:45:01.921-04:00Thank you for your help, Terry.
It is difficult to...Thank you for your help, Terry.<br />It is difficult to write about such an unique events only in Japan...Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04953459416346536609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8652020746892759821.post-85216115677036875492016-06-26T09:44:34.322-04:002016-06-26T09:44:34.322-04:00Hello Kumi-san,
I have seen many of the Randoseru...Hello Kumi-san,<br /><br />I have seen many of the Randoseru on a lot of the Japanese websites I study and almost everyone (including myself) is very envious of Japanese children with regard to Randoseru. They really are an amazingly cool looking bag. And very well made and practical at the same time also. If I had been in your daughters position I would also have chosen the red Randoseru or maybe a purple one if they exist.<br /><br />Here is a list of some of the issues found in the rest of the post:<br /><br />This line:<br />Going over a new Randoseru<br /><br />Should be:<br />(Deciding on a/Choosing a/Ordering a) new Randoseru<br /><br />Reason: It is slightly clearer in meaning than going over.<br /><br />This line:<br />Since we need to prepare her new Randoseru (school bag), so we went to the bag shop to go over her Randoseru.<br /><br />Should be:<br />Since we need to prepare her new Randoseru (school bag), we went to the bag shop to go over the specifications of her Randoseru.<br /><br />Reason: Made the sentence a little more specific. And removed filler word "so" as it is not needed in this sentence as you start your sentence with the word Since which implies the reason for the other half of the sentence. If you had instead said:<br /><br />We needed to prepare her new Randoseru (school bag), so we went to the bag shop to go over the specifications of her Randoseru.<br /><br />Then "so" would have been needed. Unfortunately this is one of those cases where there is no real reason as to why this is the case (at least that I know of).<br /><br />Note: In any event the issues is small and not worth worrying over.<br /><br />This line:<br />Do you think it is too early to buy her Randoseru?<br /><br />Question: Are you asking the shop keeper this question? If so it may make the sentence slightly clearer if you rewrite it to include that piece of information.<br /><br />Example:<br />Do you think it is too early to buy her Randoseru? I asked the (shop keeper/assistant/store clerk).<br /><br />This line:<br />They can also choose the colors of sewing threads and the colors of the leather of inside Randoseru.<br /><br />Should be:<br />They can also choose the colors of sewing threads and the colors of the leather on the inside of the Randoseru.<br /><br />Reason: Added extra filler words.<br /><br />This line:<br />But in the shop, she almost tried red Randoserus.<br /><br />Should be:<br />But in the shop, she almost tried the red Randoserus.<br /><br />Reason: Added extra filler word.<br /><br />This line:<br />I was relieved to hear that because I hoped that she would choose a red Randoseru secretly because girl's Randoseru was definitely red when I was young, so other colors' Randoseru were not acceptable for me.<br /><br />Should be:<br />I was relieved to hear that because I hoped that she would choose a red Randoseru secretly because girl's Randoseru (were/were always) definitely red when I was young, so other colors of Randoseru were not acceptable for me.<br /><br />This line:<br />Its color was red, and it was completely same type with my son's black Randoseru.<br /><br />Should be:<br />Its color was red, and it was the same type as my son's black Randoseru.<br /><br />This line:<br />My husband was impressed that there were too many families in the shop.<br /><br />Should be:<br />My husband was impressed by the large number of families in the shop.<br /><br />This line:<br />"This is a good experience for parents to go over a new Randoseru with our children. It is already like one of family's events. Seeing is believing. I hope our daughter will remember the day when she chose her Randoseru with us."<br /><br />Should be:<br />"This is a good experience for parents to help their children choose a new Randoseru. It is already like one of our family's events. Seeing is believing. I hope our daughter will remember the day when she chose her Randoseru with us."Terry Wallworkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15175573589082853160noreply@blogger.com