My 7-year-old daughter went to her friend’s house after school.
I always tell her to come home no later than 5pm because it’s getting dark by then and dangerous to walk outside alone.
She broke her promise last week, so I scolded her.
Then I asked her the reason.
“We took of our shoes and were kicking our shoes away from the top of the slider, then my friend’s shoes caught by a branch of a tree. It took some time to take it.”
“Oh well, I will only allow it this time. But you should follow our promise from now on.”
Although I explained to her why she should come home until 5pm again, but she still came home at 5:10pm.
I asked her why she was late.
She said she enjoyed playing with friends and forgot to check the time.
As a mother, I was glad that she had such a fun time with friends.
It was only 10 minutes late, but I wanted her to follow the rule.
I was really irritated about it.
On that day, my 9-year-old son had a reservation for an online English conversation lesson from 5:30pm.
I turned on my husband’s laptop and said to my son to prepare for his lesson and review the previous lesson before the lesson started.
I was so irritated because his laptop was running so slow, and I couldn't log in to Skype.
I tried to enter my password many times, but it didn’t work.
I pushed Ctrl, Alt, and Delete keys together to close all windows to restart his laptop, but it didn’t work.
We had only 15 minutes before the lesson started.
I felt frustrated and expected that we would not make it on time if I kept waiting for the laptop to restart.
I turned on another laptop and kept trying to restart my husband’s laptop.
At that time, I saw my son had started reading a comic.
I couldn’t believe his attitude.
I wondered why he didn't prepare for his lesson and review the previous lesson even though we only had 10 minutes.
Then I flipped out as if a volcano suddenly erupted, and ended up hitting the keyboard of the laptop strongly.
“Why are you always doing things like this? Why don’t you study English seriously? If you didn’t do it, YOU would be in trouble in US!”
(Actually, our family have a possibility of moving to US this summer and stay there for about three years due to my husband’s transfer.)
I couldn’t control my anger.
At last, I had to hold down the power button of the laptop to terminate it.
After a while, I turned on the laptop, but it didn’t start up any more.
I tried the diagnostic program which was already installed on his laptop, it found out the reason.
It was a failure of the hard disk drive.
We lost our data that was saved on it.
Since my husband hadn’t come home yet, I sent him a text message to explain what happened, and apologized to him deeply.
He was disappointed to hear what had happened, but he never got mad with me.
I regretted and was deeply ashamed that I couldn’t control my anger.
I felt really sorry for my husband.
I am usually a calm person, but sometimes I can’t control my anger in front of my family.
When I feel that I can’t put up with my frustration, I tend to take my anger out on things.
For example, I have thrown a cup and broke it.
After I do things like that, I always think I shouldn’t have done it.
I hate myself for doing this again.
I know I still depend on my family, it is evident that I don't like dealing with things alone as an adult or mother.
I want to be a “real” calm person like my husband.
He is always calm, and rarely gets angry.
I was ashamed that I was unable to see things from another persons point of view and lost my temper.
I apologized to my children.
“I’m really sorry. I did it again, even though I tried to stop. I guess you two don’t want to see your mom gets mad too much, and losing my temper . Don’t be like your mom in the future. I will make an effort not to act like this in the future.”
My 9-year-old son said with a smile,
“I have already gotten used to it. I won’t be like you. Don’t worry about it!”
My 7-year-old daughter said,
“It’s a little scary when you get mad, but I love you even though you get mad!”
Forgive an immature mom.
I told my husband about this incident in detail early in the morning.
I also told him that I was sick of getting mad with our children every day.
In fact, I didn’t want to say “Hurry up” to them, but they will not do anything if I stop saying that.
But I have changed my mind that it’s their problems, not mine.
They need to notice it by themselves, otherwise their attitudes will never change.
I am wondering if I should stop saying scolding them.
My husband said,
“This incident was really so you. I have already given up thinking that your character will change, ever. You couldn’t help it. But we need to encourage our daughter to keep her promise. Actually, I'm so excited see if I will be able to extract our data from the broken hard disk drive or not. I've never failed to recovery data!"
I was impressd to hear that.
He is familiar with computers.
That's so him.
He told our daughter to eat breakfast quickly so as to be on time for school many times.
It was rare for him to rush her.
Thanks to him, I didn’t have to say “hurry!” this morning.
I am really thankful of him.
He is always like so.
He usually doesn't ay overly sentimental words to me, but his attitude show me his kindness and consideration.
I really have to learn a lesson.
I will learn from this mistake, not to let my dear family feel uncomfortable.