The grandparents of the eldest students in the nursery school were able to join in the event.
Children played with their grandparents and they entertained them with their songs and a cup of tea.
My daughter and parents were really looking forward to the event.
And I was also waiting for their coming because I wanted to consult with my mother about my new idea.
It is about my daughter's music lesson.
She goes to the YAMAHA's music school once a week.
I had been also the YAMAHA's music school student for 32 years.
I learned how to play the Electone which is an electric organ produced by Yamaha corporation.
I have an Electone called "STAGEA", so I wanted my children to learn how to play it.
But recently, her teacher told us that we need to consider the next class because their children's beginner course will end next April.
In the children's class, they use Electone, but we need to decide which instrument we choose, piano or Electone by the time the next course will start.
I changed my mind that I wanted my daughter to learn how to play the piano.
I love playing the Electone very much, but I have been envy the piano.
There are some reasons why I am envy it.
When we play the Electone, we usually use the pre-imputed sound data.
If we don't have it, we can't play the Electone nicely.
In my point of view, I have a conclusion that playing the piano needs more musical talent and it can be more useful for my daughter's future life in every situations than Electone.
But we have to sell our Electone to buy a piano economically.
It is a tough decision for me because I love my Electone.
My daughter told me that she likes playing Electone and she wants to keep practicing it from now on.
I wasn't able to decide whether I should respect my daughter's thought or I persuade her to change her mind.
In fact, if my daughter would agree with my idea, I also want to start practicing piano with her.
I have always wanted to play the piano.
If I could play the piano with my daughter, it would be surely fun for me.
I told all of my thought to my mother.
She told me:
"I can find the answer just by looking at you. You want to try it, right? Give it a try! You already found the answer through 32 years. Your daughter likes playing the piano, right? When we went to the appliance store, she was playing the electric piano all the time while we were at the store. I am sure that she will like the piano."
I felt like I was able to see the blue sky behind the dark cloud.
I was worried that my mother might misunderstood that I regretted that I had learned how to play the Electone.
Actually, I don't regret it, I rather appreciate my mother that she made me go the Electone lessons.
I didn't have to worry about it.
My mother understood my thoughts well and she pushed me to make a decision.
Whenever I couldn't make important decisions, she always got my number.
My mother also praised my daughter a lot:
"You can play the Electone very well! But I am sure that you will be a good piano player. You always go to the electric piano department and try playing it, right? I am sure you like it!"
After my parents came home, I asked my daughter:
"Do you want to play the piano?"
"Yes! I want to try it."
She answered.
I was surprised to hear that and asked her again:
"Really? Did you change your mind? Do you allow me to sell our Electone?"
"I feel lonely, but OK. I am looking forward to practising the piano."
"All right! If you start going to the piano school, I also want to start practisig the piano. Let's do our best together! I want to practise it forever."
I told her.
"Yeah, me too!"
She smiled at me.
My husband agreed with me.
I worried that we need money to buy a new piano and pay the lesson fee for the piano school.
He said:
"You don't worry about it. We can solve it to work harder. You think it is good for our daugher's future, right? "
I am really happy and appreciate my mother and him to understand my idea.
I really look forward to our new try and hope that it would become our best decision of our lives.
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Hello Kumi-san,
ReplyDeleteIt sounds as if you and your daughter will be having a lot of fun and have a lot of hard work ahead of you learning to play the piano. Although I imagine it will not be as difficult for you as adapting from playing the Electone to playing the piano will not be that big of a change. Still my knowledge of either instrument is very limited so I may be completely wrong. In any event it is sure to be an interesting experience for both of you.
Here is a list of some of the issues found in the rest of the post:
Part 1:
This line:
The important decision on our lives
Question: Do you mean the title to mean it is a post about the many important decisions that we make in our live, or specifically about one particular important decision?
If it's about the many decisions you make throughout life the sentence would be written as:
The important decisions we make in our lives
If it's about one particular decision that sentence would be:
An important decision in our lives
Note: In both versions of the sentence I have changed the word on to "in" as this is the most natural sounding word for that sentence, though I can not give you an explanation as to why this is the case.
This line:
And I was also waiting for their coming because I wanted to consult with my mother about my new idea.
Should be:
And I was also waiting for (them to come/their arrival) because I wanted to consult with my mother about my new idea.
This line:
I had been also the YAMAHA's music school student for 32 years.
Should be:
I had also been a YAMAHA's music school student for 32 years.
Question: Just for confirmation is 32 years of study correct? Just want to make sure that was not a typing error, or that I am misunderstanding the sentence.
This line:
In the children's class, they use Electone, but we need to decide which instrument we choose, piano or Electone by the time the next course will start.
Should be:
In the children's class, they use Electone, but we need to decide which instrument (to choose/we will choose), piano or Electone by the time the next course starts.
This sentence:
I changed my mind that I wanted my daughter to learn how to play the piano.
Reason: It is a little unclear as to the meaning of the sentence. Do you mean that previously you wanted your daughter to learn the Electone but now want her to learn the piano. Or do you mean that previously you wanted your daughter to learn to play the piano but now wish that she should continue to play the Electone?
If you wish your daughter to stop playing the Electone and start playing the piano the sentence would be better written as:
I changed my mind about my daughter playing the Electone and want (my daughter/her) to learn to play the piano (instead).
If you wish your daughter to continue playing the Electone and not take up playing the piano the sentence would be:
I changed my mind about my daughter learning to play the piano and want (my daughter/her) to continue learning to play the Electone.
This line:
I love playing the Electone very much, but I have been envy the piano.
Should be:
I love playing the Electone very much, but I have been envious of the piano.
Or if you wish to keep the word envy:
I love playing the Electone very much, but I envy (being able to play) the piano.
This line:
There are some reasons why I am envy it.
Should be:
There are some reasons why I am envious of it.
Or:
There are some reasons why I envy it.
This line:
When we play the Electone, we usually use the pre-imputed sound data.
Should be:
When we play the Electone, we usually use the pre-inputted sound data.
Reason: Imputed has a meaning different from what you likely intended. Inputted is probably the word you want to use:
Impute - http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/impute
Input - http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/input
Part 2:
ReplyDeleteThis line:
In my point of view, I have a conclusion that playing the piano needs more musical talent and it can be more useful for my daughter's future life in every situations than Electone.
Should be:
From my point of view, I have concluded that playing the piano needs more musical talent and it would be more useful to my daughter's future life in many more situations compared to the Electone.
Or:
It's my opinion that playing the piano needs more musical talent and it would be more useful to my daughter's future life in many more situations compared to the Electone.
This line:
I wasn't able to decide whether I should respect my daughter's thought or I persuade her to change her mind.
Should be:
I wasn't able to decide whether I should respect my daughter's wishes or if I should persuade her to change her mind.
This line:
If I could play the piano with my daughter, it would be surely fun for me.
Should be:
If I could play the piano with my daughter, it would surely be fun for me.
Reason: Word order changes.
This line:
I told all of my thought to my mother.
Should be:
I told all of my thoughts to my mother.
Or:
I told my mother what I was thinking.
This line:
"I can find the answer just by looking at you. You want to try it, right? Give it a try! You already found the answer through 32 years. Your daughter likes playing the piano, right? When we went to the appliance store, she was playing the electric piano all the time while we were at the store. I am sure that she will like the piano."
Should be:
"I can find the answer just by looking at you. You want to try it, right? Give it a try! You already found the answer for 32 years. Your daughter likes playing the piano, right? When we went to the appliance store, she was playing the electric piano all the time while we were at the store. I am sure that she will like the piano."
Reason: Changed "through" to "for"
This line:
I was worried that my mother might misunderstood that I regretted that I had learned how to play the Electone.
Should be:
I was worried that my mother might have misunderstood and thought that I regretted that I had learned how to play the Electone.
Or:
I was worried that my mother would think that I regretted learning how to play the Electone.
Part 3:
ReplyDeleteThis line:
Actually, I don't regret it, I rather appreciate my mother that she made me go the Electone lessons.
Should be:
Actually, I don't regret it, I rather appreciate that my mother made me go to the Electone lessons.
Or:
Actually, I don't regret it, I rather appreciate that my mother made me (do/take) Electone lessons.
This line:
Whenever I couldn't make important decisions, she always got my number.
Reason: Idiom/Expression "got my number". It can be used in the way you use it in this sentence to mean that your mother always knows what to do and understands what it was that you were wishing to do. But a better expression would be "(she's/she has) always got my back.". Which means that your mother is always trying to help you and is looking out for you.
Better description:
http://www.english-idioms.com/files/have-got-your-back.html
This line:
"I feel lonely, but OK. I am looking forward to practising the piano."
Should be:
"I feel (nervous/apprehensive) about it, but OK. I am looking forward to practising the piano."
This line:
"All right! If you start going to the piano school, I also want to start practisig the piano. Let's do our best together! I want to practise it forever."
Should be:
"All right! If you start going to the piano school, I also want to start practising the piano. Let's do our best together! I want to practise it forever."
Question: Which version of spelling would you prefer to use American English or British English. I ask so that I can check spelling and know if a word should be corrected or not, based on it British or American spelling.
This line:
"You don't worry about it. We can solve it to work harder. You think it is good for our daugher's future, right? "
Should be:
"You don't worry about it. We can solve it if we work harder. You think it is good for our daughter's future, right?"
Or:
"You don't worry about it. We can solve it if we work together. You think it is good for our daughter's future, right?"
This line:
I am really happy and appreciate my mother and him to understand my idea.
Should be:
I am really happy and appreciate that him and my mother understand my idea.
Reason: Word order changes.
This line:
I really look forward to our new try and hope that it would become our best decision of our lives.
Should be:
I really look forward to our new (endeavour/hobby/undertaking) and hope that it will become one of the best decision of our lives.
Reason: Word order changes and added filler words to make sentence sound more natural. Also changed the meaning of the original sentence because in the original sentence it implies that the decision will be the single best decision your family ever made, this is probably not the case. You have made many good decisions and a lot of them will have been much more important to your family than the learning of piano.