When I came home from work, my mother said:
"Something was delivered. It has written on it "building blocks", so your son was looking forward to opening the box."
"Building blocks? I haven't ordered it."
I was surprised to hear this.
I looked at the address of the package and said:
"Oh! I understand. It has written on it cloths, neckless, building blocks, shoes. It was only the category of the courier company. It was my daughter's dress for her Electone recital which will be held in October. I ordered it online and she has been looking forward to its arrival. Hey! Your dress has arrived already! Come on!"
"Really? Where is it?"
My 6-year-old daughter was surprised to hear this and came to me.
"Here. I am opening it. Wow! Look! It's really nice!"
I bought a green dress, sliver shoes and white polka dot tights.
"Wow! How nice! I want to try them and show grandma!"
She was excited and started changing her cloths.
"How am I?"
She told us gladly but a little shyly.
"Wow! You are so sweet! That dress looks good on you!"
My mother praised her.
Next to my daughter, my son was watching TV and he wasn't interested in her dress at all.
It was funny but boys are usually like this.
"I want to play the Electone! I want grandma to listen to my performance!"
She started playing the ensemble song which she will play in the recital.
She was able to play it without mistakes.
"Oh, I am looking forward to the recital!"
I was impressed with the effect of the dress.
Actually, it had been already decided which dress the girls will wear at the recital by the teachers and I only ordered them.
It was cheap but very nice.
I thought the teachers know well which kind of dresses little girls are glad to wear.
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Hello Kumi-san,
ReplyDeleteThe dress sounds adorable. Though to be fair to your son, it is not surprising that he is not interested in it. As boys tend not to be interested in girls clothes especially their younger sisters outfits. Just remember to get a lot of photographs for the family album collection :).
Here is a list of some of the other issues found with the rest of the post:
This line:
"Something was delivered. It is written "building blocks", so you son was looking forward to opening the box."
Should be:
"Something was delivered. It has written on it "building blocks", so you son was looking forward to opening the box."
This line:
I looked at the address of the baggage and said:
Should be:
I looked at the address of the package and said:
This line:
"Oh! I understand. It was written cloths, neckless, building blocks, shoes. It was only the category of the courier company. It was my daughter's dress for her Electone recital which will be held in October. I ordered it online and she has been looking forward to its arrival. Hey! Your dress has already arrived at home! Come on!"
Should be:
"Oh! I understand. It has written on it cloths, neckless, building blocks, shoes. It was only the category of the courier company. It was my daughter's dress for her Electone recital which will be held in October. I ordered it online and she has been looking forward to its arrival. Hey! Your dress has arrived already! Come on!"
Reason: Add extra filler words and removed some words that were not needed and made some word order changes.
This line:
Next to my daughter, my son was watching TV and he wasn't interested at her dress at all.
Should be:
Next to my daughter, my son was watching TV and he wasn't interested in her dress at all.
This line:
Actually, it has been already decided which dress the girls will wear at the recital by teachers and I only ordered them.
Should be:
Actually, it had been already decided which dress the girls will wear at the recital by the teachers and I only ordered them.
This line:
I thought teachers know well which kind of dresses little girls are glad.
Should be:
I thought the teachers know well which kind of dresses little girls are (happy to wear/glad to wear).
Hi Terry!
DeleteThank you for the corrections.
I corrected them(^^)