2016/07/16

You made it!

I wrote that my 7-year-old son drew a picture of Doraemon before and he entered it into the reader's page of the magazine which he reads in my previous post :

 http://a-o-j-m.blogspot.jp/2016/03/my-sons-favorite-drawing.html

I found that a big envelope was sent to my son from the editorial department of the magazine when we came home last evening.

"Could it be?"

I opened it and it said that they chose my son's picture and published it in their magazine.

They enclosed a pre-paid card for purchasing books for 500yen.

"Wow! He made it! Look! His picture is here, in the magazine!"

I literally jumped up with joy and showed the magazine to my 6-year-old daughter.

"Wow! So I see!"

She was surprised to see it.

"Let's go to the park and inform him!"

I said.

My son was at the park near my house to catch cicadas.

Since I wanted to say the good news to him as soon as possible, we ran to the park.

He was looking for cicadas there.

"Hey! I have a good news for you!"

I shouted.

"What happened?"

He asked me.

"You wrote the picture of Doraemon and entered it to the magazine before, didn't you? It was published in it! I have got the letter from them!"

He was as cool as a cucumber.

Since I guessed that he would surely be excited to hear the news, I was surprised to see his attitude.

He was interested in catching cicadas at that time than the news.

After we came home, I showed him the magazine, but he was not so glad and surprised.

He was obviously glad to get the pre-paid card for purchasing books rather than his picture was published on the magazine.

Anyway, I want to believe that this experience encouraged him.



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2 件のコメント:

  1. Hello Kumi-san,

    Congratulations to your son and his success in getting his picture published in a magazine. In a way I am more impressed with the fact that he is more interested in buying books than being a famous artist. There at least in this country very few children who value books over fame and notoriety. And on a practical level being fond of money at least means your artistic son will not be a poor artist, but a well read rich artist instead. Which one could argue is a much more useful profession to have :)

    Either way this is one of those times where you frame the picture and look after it.

    Here is a list of some of the other issues found in the rest of the post:

    Part 1:

    This line:
    I literally jumped up with joy and showed the magazine to my 6-year-old daughter.

    Reason: Although it is grammatically correct and completely clear in meaning in English we have a specific expression that can be used when you jump up because you are excited "xxx jumped for joy yyy":

    Examples:
    I was so happy I jumped for joy and hugged him.
    I jumped for joy on meeting my friend again.
    It was such good news that I could have jumped for joy.

    Notes: "Jumped for joy" can also be used to mean that you are very happy or excited about something, and does not have to imply that you did actually jump up just that it made you happy enough to want to. A similar expression in English which can also be used is "xxx was overjoyed with yyy":

    Examples:
    I was overjoyed on hearing the news that my friend will soon be able to leave hospital.
    I had been eating more healthily and was overjoyed that my waist line had reduced by 2 inches.
    He look overjoyed on winning the race that he had practised for.

    This line:
    Since I wanted to say the good news to him as soon as possible, we ran to the park.

    Should be:
    Since I wanted to (tell him/inform him of) the good news as soon as possible, we ran to the park.

    Reason: "Say" would not be used in the way written to inform someone of something, tell or inform would be much more likely to be the correct words to use. Although its not a solid rule, it may help to think of say as only being used when you are listening to what someone else is saying. There is not unfortunately a simple rule for this that I know of, so I will show some examples which may help:

    Examples:
    He tried to interrupt me but I was determined to have my say. I told him I would not buy that car!
    As I tried to say "You will not be able to go to school until you are well again".
    I said that he should watch less TV and read more books.
    I told him that dinner will be ready in and hour.
    I had to politely tell him to be quiet as I was speaking on the phone.
    I informed him that I would be (giving in/handing in) my resignation this week.
    I say that all cats are cute, and anyone who thinks differently I say is wrong.
    I heard him say that he would never paint another house again.
    I have heard it said that a watched pot will not boil.
    They say that all good things come to those who wait.
    They say that patience is a virtue.
    Many times people say one thing and do the opposite.

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  2. Part 2:

    This line:
    "You wrote the picture of Doraemon and entered it to the magazine before, didn't you? It was published in it! I have got the letter from them!"

    Should be:
    "You drew the picture of Doraemon and (sent it/entered it in) to the magazine before, didn't you? It was published! I have got the letter from them!"

    Reason: When referring to drawn illustrations you use the past tense of draw (drew) for something that has been drawn already. In present tense "draw" for something that you will draw, "drawing" for something you are currently drawing, and "drawn" for something that has been drawn already. There are exceptions to all the rules mentioned but most of the time they will work.

    If the piece of art was not drawn but was a painted picture then you would use paint to indicate that you will paint something, painting indicate that you are currently or will paint in future, painted is used when you have finished painting.

    Examples:
    My son drew a picture using the colored pencils he had just bought. (correct)
    My son drew a picture using the paint brushes he had just bought (incorrect you paint a picture using brushes)
    My son painted a picture using the colored pencils he had just bought. (wrong because you draw with pencils)
    My son painted a picture using (brushes/paint brushes) he had just bought. (correct)
    I asked my son if he drew the picture. (correct)
    I asked my son if he draw the picture. (incorrect draw is present tense and this sentence only sounds right with past tense drew)
    I asked my son if he had drawn the picture. (correct drawn is another form of past tense drew).
    I will be painting this wall a few hours from now.

    Note: That drawings done with charcoal/pencils/chalks can also be called a sketch/sketches/sketchings.

    Examples:
    My son loves to draw little pencil sketches in his note book.
    My son's sketches are very impressive for his age, I think.
    My son has many sketches/sketchings of Doraemon littered/scattered around his room.

    Note: Sketchings is not technically grammatically correct but is commonly used. It is probably best to always use sketches for referencing multiple sketch collections rather than using sketchings.

    This line:
    Since I guessed that he would surely be excited to hear the news, I was surprised to see his attitude.

    Should be:
    Since I guessed that he would surely be excited to hear the news, I was surprised (by his/at his) attitude.

    Reason: Changed "to see his" to (by his/at his), as this sounds better and flows a little more smoothly. Though note that your sentence was grammatically correct and valid (and completely clear).

    This line:
    He was interested in catching cicadas at that time than the news.

    Should be:
    He was more interested in catching cicadas at the time rather than the news.

    Reason: Added missing filler words which make the sentence sound more natural.

    This line:
    After we came home, I showed him the magazine, but he was not so glad and surprised.

    Should be:
    After we came home, I showed him the magazine, but he did not seem glad or surprised.

    Or:
    After we came home, I showed him the magazine, (but he seemed unimpressed).

    Note: expression "not seem impressed/seemed unimpressed/seemed unconcerned" can mean be uninterested.

    This line:
    He was obviously glad to get the pre-paid card for purchasing books rather than his picture was published on the magazine.

    Should be:
    He was obviously (more concerned/more impressed/more glad) to get the pre-paid card for purchasing books rather than the fact that his picture was published in the magazine.

    Reason: Added some filler words to make sentence more natural and changed some words to make sentence grammatically correct.

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