I was preparing breakfast.
"Mom!"
She shouted, but I couldn't hear what she said after that.
"What? I can't hear you!"
My 7-year-old son said:
"She said her loose front tooth has fallen out!"
I said:
"Wow! Didn't it hurt?"
"No!"
She answered and came to me to see her tooth.
"Which tooth fell out, upper or lower?"
I asked her and she answered.
"Lower tooth."
"OK. So let's go to the upstairs to throw it on the roof."
The morning is always really busy time for me, but I took my time to go to the upstairs with her and threw her tooth on the roof instead of her.
But the tooth rolled down the roof and fell onto the ground.
"Mom, it has fallen down!"
She said.
"Never mind! Let's have breakfast!"
Since my daughter always takes a long time to finish breakfast, I wanted to finish this custom as soon as possible and wanted her to start eating.
I wrote about our custom when children fell out their tooth in my previous post:
http://a-o-j-m.blogspot.jp/2015/09/my-tooth-finally-fell-out_3.html
Before I went to work, I made an appointment to see a dentist for my 7-year-old son.
Because he said he has a toothache.
I looked at his tooth.
It color was getting gray and was bleeding a little.
I was surprised that he said he wanted to go to see a dentist.
Children usually don't want to see a dentist, so I thought he has a severe toothache.
My children and I went to the clinic at 5:30pm.
He went into the consultation room alone.
I was surprised because he couldn't go alone last time we visited the dentist 2 years ago.
After a while, the doctor came to me and said:
"I am going to take his X-ray and if I can see that his permanent tooth is ready, I will pull his milk tooth."
"I see."
I answered.
Then after a while, he came back from the consulting room biting a gauze.
One of the assistant explained their treatment to me.
I asked her:
"After all, was it a bad tooth?"
"No, it couldn't fall out for longer term than usual, that's why its color turned gray."
She explained.
"It can happen! "
I was surprised to hear that, but I was relieved that the cause of toothache was not a bad tooth.
We don't have the custom of Tooth Fairy, but I felt like that the Tooth Fairy came to my house because the teeth of my children fell out their teeth on the same day!
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Hello Kumi-san,
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear that your son's tooth problems were nothing too serious and the he didn't suffer much. At least your children will keep the Tooth Fairy busy :)
Here is a list of some of the issues found with the rest of your post:
This line:
Here comes Tooth Fairy again!
Should be:
Here comes (the/The) Tooth Fairy again!
Reason: Unsure of the reason that we do this but when mentioning the Tooth Fairy we almost always add the word "The/the" before Tooth Fairy.
This line:
She answered and came to me to see her tooth.
Should be:
She answered and came to me to show me her tooth.
This line:
"OK. So let's go to the upstairs to throw it on the roof."
Should be:
"OK. So let's go upstairs and throw it on the roof."
Reason: Extra words removed and different filler words added.
This line:
The morning is always really busy time for me, but I took my time to go to the upstairs with her and threw her tooth on the roof instead of her.
Should be:
The morning is always a really busy time for me, but I took my time to go upstairs with her and threw her tooth on the roof for her.
This line:
I wrote about our custom when children fell out their tooth in my previous post:
Should be:
I wrote about our custom when my children's teeth fell out in my previous post:
This line:
It color was getting gray and was bleeding a little.
Should be:
It was (going/turning) gray in color and was bleeding a little.
Reason: Sound a little more natural.
This line:
Children usually don't want to see a dentist, so I thought he has a severe toothache.
Should be:
Children usually don't want to see the dentist, so I thought he may have a severe toothache.
Reason: In your original sentence it implies that you thought with certainty that he has toothache where as I am assuming that you were not sure. Also changed a dentist to the dentist. As it sounds more natural and less robotically repetitive.
This line:
Then after a while, he came back from the consulting room biting a gauze.
Reason: It sounds as if the dentist is biting gauze and not as I assume your son. Would be less ambiguous written as:
Then after a while my son came back from the consulting room (biting gauze/with gauze in his mouth).
This line:
One of the assistant explained their treatment to me.
Should be:
One of the assistants explained the treatment to me.
This line:
"No, it couldn't fall out for longer term than usual, that's why its color turned gray."
Should be:
"No, it couldn't fall out for a longer term than usual, that's why its color turned gray."
This line:
We don't have the custom of Tooth Fairy, but I felt like that the Tooth Fairy came to my house because the teeth of my children fell out their teeth on the same day!
Should be:
We don't have the custom of (the/The) Tooth Fairy, but I felt like the Tooth Fairy came to my house because the teeth of my children fell out on the same day!
Reason: Added missing filler words and removed some words that were not needed.