When I purchased the new washing machine, the store staff explained to me that delivery staff might come after 9pm because the delivery schedule was very tight recently.
8pm was late for us but it was better than after 9pm.
I told my children:
"It's time to say good-bye to the washing machine."
They came and were looking at what they did.
One of the delivery staff said to my children:
"Wow! My heart is pounding with tension if all of you are looking at me! Don't you go to bed yet?"
"They are excited and curious. It is rare that someone comes to our house such a night time."
I answered instead of them.
Actually, they seemed not to be able to sleep.
The washing machine was too big to pass through the doorway of the washroom, so one of the staff removed the door.
Since they looked hot, I brought the fan and turned it on toward them.
One of them said:
"Oh, thank you. It's very cool."
They finished installing the new washing machine about 8:50pm.
I thought their work is really hard, they had to work till night it was a heavy labor.
I told them:
"Thank you very much till late at night. Please drink it on your way home."
I gave them two bottled tea and said good-bye.
I finished cleaning at 9:30pm.
I am glad to be able to finish faster than I thought.
I looked forward to using it.
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Hello Kumi-san,
ReplyDeleteIt is good that your washing machine was installed quickly and without problems. I hope that it is able to work as well as your previous machine. I wish we could get washing machine installation people to come at night. We normally have to wait for them to arrive in the daytime. Which is irksome.
Here is a list of some of the other issues found in the rest of the post:
Part 1:
This line:
Good-bye the old washing machine
Should be:
(Saying Goodbye to/Good-bye to) the old washing machine
Reason: We have a very common expression for indicating when we have gotten rid of a thing in the format:
"(Say/Saying) goodbye to xxx/Goodbye to the xxx"
We also have a similar format for when we get new things:
"(Saying/say) hello to xxx/Hello to (the) xxx"
Examples:
I got a new dress so I will be saying goodbye to the old one which I disliked and will be sending to the charity shop.
Say hello to my new dress with it pretty flowers and bright colors.
I finally got a new dress and will say goodbye to the old one.
Say hello to the new season and goodbye to the old one.
Note: Also although "good-bye" is correct it is generally written as "goodbye" in English. This is a minor issues and probably not worth worrying about.
This line:
The delivery staff from the appliance store came to our house at 8:10pm last night.
Questions: Just to check, was there a single person sent from the store to install your washing machine if so your sentence would be correct. However if there was a single person sent it would be rewritten as:
The delivery person from the appliance store came to our house at 8:10pm last night.
This line:
When I purchased the new washing machine, the store staff explained to me that delivery staff might come after 9pm because the delivery schedule was very tight recently.
Should be:
When I purchased the new washing machine, the store staff explained to me that the delivery staff might come after 9pm because the delivery schedule was very tight recently.
Reason: Added filler word "the" to "... to me that the delivery staff might ..." to make sound more natural.
Note: "Store staff" although grammatically correct is often more plainly said as just "staff/clerk" or "store person/store clerk/people at the store".
Examples:
The staff explained to me that ...
The clerk explained to me that ...
The store person (if there was only one person explaining) explained to me that ...
The people at the store (can be used if one person is explain but implies multiple people told you) explained to me that ...
This line:
They came and were looking at what they did.
Should be:
They came and were looking at what they were doing.
Reason: Changed "they did" to "they were doing" as this sounds more natural.
This line:
"Wow! My heart is pounding with tension if all of you are looking at me! Don't you go to bed yet?"
Should be:
"Wow! My heart is pounding with all this tension of you all looking at me! Isn't it time for you to go to bed yet?"
Or:
"Wow! My heart is pounding with all this tension of you all looking at me! Isn't it your bedtime yet?"
Reason: Word order changes to make sentence more natural and wrote an alternate version of sentence which is a little more likely to be said in English.
Part 2:
ReplyDeleteThis line:
"They are excited and curious. It is rare that someone comes to our house such a night time."
Should be:
"They are excited and curious. It is rare that someone comes to our house (at night time/at night/in the evening)."
Reason: Rewrote end of sentence to more naturally express night time in different ways in English.
This line:
They finished installing the new washing machine about 8:50pm.
Should be:
They finished installing the new washing machine at (about/around/approximately/roughly) 8:50pm.
Reason: Added a filler word "at" and suggested some other alternative words that can also be used for the word "about" in your sentence. Your use of about is correct however.
This line:
I thought their work is really hard, they had to work till night it was a heavy labor.
Should be:
I thought their work is really hard, they had to work (all night/at night/through the night) it was a heavy labor.
Reason: Made sentence sound a little more natural.
This line:
"Thank you very much till late at night. Please drink it on your way home."
Should be:
"Thank you very much (for working through the night/for working so late at night/for working at so late an hour). Please drink this on your way home."
Reason: Reworded have to express working late through the night with a few alternative ways to say what you wanted to say. Changed "Please drink it" to "Please drink this" was is grammatically correct.
This line:
I gave them two bottled tea and said good-bye.
Should be:
I gave them two bottled teas and said good-bye.
Or:
I gave them two bottles of tea and said good-bye.
Reason: Depending on the way the sentence is written you need to make either tea or bottle plural.
This line:
I am glad to be able to finish faster than I thought.
Question: In the above sentence do you mean that your are glad that the washing machine was installed so quickly by the washing machine installers, if so your sentence would be written as:
I am glad they were able to finish faster than I thought.
This line:
I looked forward to using it.
Should be:
I (look/am looking) forward to using it.
Reason: Replaced "looked" as that is past tense and doesn't sound as natural as (look/am looking).
Note: "(I look/I am looking) forward to XXX" is a common expression in English:
Examples:
I look forward to seeing how my son progresses with his karate practice.
I am looking forward to a future where I can do the washing easily.