2016/03/30

Translator of their emotions

When we got out of the bath, my children started fighting.

I didn't know the cause of the fight, but I guessed my 7-year-old son spoke ill of my 5-year-old daughter.

It is normal for them so I didn't try to stop their fight.

But my daughter hit him hard.

He got mad at her and said:

"Ouch! What did you do? I hate you!"

But she ignored him and started singing.

Her behavior made him get even more angry.

He was so upset and started crying.

"That's why I hate you! Don't make fun of me!"

Since he was too excited, I thought I have to calm him down.

I let my daughter go to the living room, and I told him while drying his hair.

"I know how you feel. You didn't like her behavior in which she ignored you, didn't you?"

"Yeah. I hate her."

"I am sorry, in fact, I taught her about it before. It is her secret way how to deal with your bullying. You often speak ill of her when you are in bad mood, don't you? It was not her fault. She is always kind to you, right? When you told me that you felt cold, she brought you a blanket. Anyway, You guys are like my sister and me when we were children. We often fought and I used to tell her "I will never talk to again!". But I forgot about it the next day, and played with her again. That's siblings."

He stopped crying and listened to my story while laughing.

"Let's go to bed!"

I told him but he said:

"I will go to the living room and write something on my hand."

"What are you going to write on your hand? You have just finished taking a bath."

"I want to write "I will never talk to her" on my hand not to forget about it."

I was really surprised at him, it was not what I wanted him to learn from my story.

"You don't write down such a negative word on your hand! I want to forget about it! Go to bed!"

He started crying and struggling again.

I let him go to the bedroom and let my daughter in to the washroom.

I told her while drying her hair:

"He got mad at you because you didn't listen to him. But you had no choice because I told you how to act. It was not your fault."

Then my son came to the washroom crying bitterly.

"What happened?"

I asked him.

He said:

"When I tried to take my socks off, I knocked my head against the wall! It hurts!"

"Again? Are you OK? Let me see your head. Is it bleeding? No, OK. Calm down. It surely hurts.But you are OK."

I thought he was sleepy, so I tried to calm him down.

I told my daughter to wait for me here, and took him to the bedroom.

I don't tell my children "It doesn't hurt" in such kinds of situation.

I always try to accept their feelings, so I hugged him and kept telling him to calm him down:

"It hurts, but don't worry. You are OK."

I laid him on the futon and told him to go to sleep.

I went back to my daughter and told her:

"He is going to sleep. Maybe you don't notice why he always gets mad at you. So I am going to tell you why. He doesn't like that you talk to him like I do. I know you are very kind to him. But you sometimes try to take care of him too much. For example, you told him "Do your homework first!" before. You don't have to say like that. You regard him as a good friend, right? But he doesn't. As far as he is concerned, you are his younger sister. He always tries to behave as your brother even though you and he are only one year and 5 months differences in age. That's why he doesn't want you to say things like that. He thinks you are making fun of him even though you don't mean to do it."

While listening to my story, she started crying.

"I only want to play with him happily... I like him.."

She said.

"You don't have to cry. It wasn't your fault. But if you think it is good for him, it sometimes makes him get angry. You just need to try not to push his button.  Do you understand? Maybe it is a little difficult for you to understand.."

"I don't understand!"

She cried.

I thought she was too young to understand his feelings.

I tried to calm her down and went to bed together.

It was really hard to settle their fight down, I need to be their mediator and explain their feelings to each other.

I don't know if it succeeded this time, but I try to keep up my efforts from now on.




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4 件のコメント:

  1. Hello Kumi-san,

    It seems it was another busy and eventful bath time for you and your children. If you ever decide to start a new job child psychology is something you will likely be an expert at :)

    As children I don't remember taking baths with my siblings. I strongly suspect if we had I would have at some point attempted to drown them. Our levels of animosity towards each other was extreme and makes your children looks like angels in comparison :).

    Here is a list of some of the issues found with the rest of your post:

    Part 1:

    This line:
    It is normal for us so I didn't try to stop their fight.

    Should be:
    It is normal for them so I didn't try to stop their fight.

    Reason: I changed us to them, otherwise it can imply that it's normal for you and your children to fight, when clearly you were only referring to it being common for your children to fight/argue.

    This line:
    But my daughter hit him strongly.

    Should be:
    But my daughter hit him hard.

    Reason: Hard or forcefully is more likely to be used in the sentence above.

    This line:
    Her behavior made him get angry more.

    Should be:
    Her behavior made him get even more angry.

    This line:
    He was so excited and started crying.

    Should be:
    He was so (upset/frustrated/agitated) that he started crying.

    This line:
    Since he was too excited, I thought I have to calm him down.

    Should be:
    Since he was too (upset/frustrated/agitated), I thought I have to calm him down.

    This line:
    I let my daughter go to the living room, and I told him drying his hair.

    Should be:
    I let my daughter go to the living room, and I told him to dry his hair.

    This line:
    "I know your feeling. You didn't like her behavior which she ignored you, didn't you?"

    Should be:
    "I know how you feel. You didn't like her behavior (in which/when) she ignored you, did you?"

    This line:
    "I am sorry, in fact, I taught her about it before. It is her secret how to deal with your bullying. You often speak ill of her when you are in bad mood, don't you? It was not her fault. She is always kind to you, right? When you told me that you felt cold, she brought you a blanket. Anyway, You guys are like my sister and me who were children. We often fought and I used to tell her "I will never talk to you from now on!". But I forgot about it next day, and played with her again. That's siblings."

    Should be:
    "I am sorry, in fact, I taught her about it before. It is her secret way to deal with your bullying. You often speak ill of her when you are in bad mood, don't you? It was not her fault. She is always kind to you, right? When you told me that you felt cold, she brought you a blanket. Anyway, You guys are like my sister and me when we were children. We often fought and I used to tell her "I will never talk to again!". But I forgot about it the next day, and played with her again. That's siblings."

    Reason: I corrected a few things in the above sentence. I did have one question about it in the part that says "When you told me that you felt cold, ...." was your son telling you or his sister? If he was telling his sister then it would be reworded as "When you told her that you felt cold, ...."

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  2. Part 2:

    This line:
    I let him go to the bedroom and let my daughter to the washroom.

    Should be:
    I let him go to the bedroom and let my daughter in to the washroom.

    This line:
    "He got mad at you because you didn't listen to him. But you had no choice because I told you to do like that before. It was not your fault."

    Should be:
    "He got mad at you because you didn't listen to him. But you had no choice because I told you (how to act/how to respond/how to conduct yourself). It was not your fault."

    This line:
    "When I tried to put my socks off, I knocked my head against the wall! It hurts!"

    Should be:
    "When I tried to (take/pull) my socks off, I knocked my head against the wall! It hurts!"

    This line:
    "Again? Are you OK? Let me see your head. Isn't it bleeding? No, OK. Calm down. It surely hurts.But you are OK."

    Should be:
    "Again? Are you OK? Let me see your head. Is it bleeding? No, OK. Calm down. It surely hurts. But you are OK."

    This line:
    I always try to accept their feeling, so I hugged him and kept telling him to calm him down:

    Should be:
    I always try to accept their feelings, so I hugged him and kept telling him to calm him down:

    This line:
    "He is going to sleep. Maybe you don't notice why he always gets mad at you. So I am going to tell you why. He doesn't like that you tell him like me. I know you are very kind to him. But you sometimes try to take care of him too much. For example, you told him "Do your homework first!" before. You don't have to say like that. You regard him as a good friend, right? But he doesn't. As for him, you are his younger sister. He always tries to behave as your brother even though you and he are only one year and 5 months differences. That's why he doesn't want you to say like that. He thinks you make fun of him even though you don't mean to do it."

    Should be:
    "He is going to sleep. Maybe you didn't notice why he always gets mad at you. So I am going to tell you why. He doesn't like that you talk to him like I do. I know you are very kind to him. But you sometimes try to take care of him too much. For example, you told him "Do your homework first!" before. You don't have to say it like that. You regard him as a good friend, right? But he doesn't. As far as he is concerned, you are his younger sister. He always tries to behave as your brother even though you and he are only one year and 5 months difference in age. That's why he doesn't want you to say things like that. He thinks you are making fun of him even though you don't mean to do it."

    This line:
    "You don't have to cry. It wasn't your fault. But if you think it is good for him, it sometimes makes him get angry. You just only need to try not to push his button. Do you understand? Maybe it is a little difficult for you.."

    Should be:
    "You don't have to cry. It wasn't your fault. But if you think it is good for him, it sometimes makes him get angry. You just need to try not to push his buttons. Do you understand? Maybe it is a little difficult for you to understand."

    Note: Good use of push his buttons idiom :) (apart from the missing s, for reasons I am not sure of it is always said plural)

    This line:
    I tried to calm her down and went to bed together.

    Should be:
    I tried to calm her down and we went to bed together.

    This line:
    It was really hard to settle their fight down, I need to be their mediator and explain their feelings each other.

    Should be:
    It was really hard to settle their fight down, I need to be their mediator and explain their feelings to each other.

    This line:
    I don't know it succeeded this time, but I try to keep my effort from now on.

    Should be:
    I don't know if it succeeded this time, but I will try to keep up my efforts from now on.

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    返信
    1. Hello Terry!
      Thank you for many corrections.
      This post was also really difficult to write.

      I am afraid that I would like to ask you this correction:

      Should be:
      "I know how you feel. You didn't like her behavior (in which/when) she ignored you, did you?"

      I understood in the case of(when), but I am not sure the difference between (which) and (in which).
      Could you teach me how different they are?


      Your question:
      Reason: I corrected a few things in the above sentence. I did have one question about it in the part that says "When you told me that you felt cold, ...." was your son telling you or his sister? If he was telling his sister then it would be reworded as "When you told her that you felt cold, ...."

      It was the word my son was told.
      In that case, does my sentence correct, or isn't it clear?

      I really appriciate your cooperations!



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    2. Hello Kumi-san,

      With regard to the use of "in which". In the way I used it as a short abbreviation for "situation in which". So my sentence could be reworded as:

      "I know how you feel. You didn't like her behavior because of the situation in which she ignored you, did you?"

      Examples:
      I like all games in which I win.
      I like all games which I win.
      I like all games in the situation where I win.
      I looked at the situation which I found myself.
      I looked at the situation in which I found myself.

      "in which" can also sometimes translate to "end result/results in"

      Examples:

      I like movies in which the good guy wins
      I like movies where the end result is the good guy wins
      I like movies which result(s) in the good guy winning

      "in which" can also be used to indicate a location:

      I lost the box in which I placed my keys
      I lost the box where I placed my keys.
      When I got to the place in which we arranged to be, it was closed
      When I got to the place which we arranged to be, it was closed
      When I got to the place where we arranged to be, is was closed

      Note: That you can often use "when" or (in which/which) interchangeably.

      Example:

      I enjoy sports in which my team wins
      I enjoy sports when my team wins
      I enjoy chocolate which is low in sugar
      I enjoy chocolate when it is low in sugar
      I enjoy chocolate in which there is little sugar

      I don't enjoy doing activities in which I have to run
      I don't enjoy doing activities when I have to run
      I don't enjoy doing activities which involve me having to run

      "Which" and "in which" are often similar. Which is used to select between multiple alternatives (usually):

      Which shirt should I wear today, the red or green one.

      "In which" can be use to select between multiple alternatives also but can also be used for other uses:

      In which candidate should I place trust in
      Which candidate should I place trust in
      In which box did I put my keys
      Which box did I put my keys in

      Here's an example of Which that doesn't fit any of the above rules:

      I went running which was fun
      I listened to the new which made no sense

      Note: All the above is not really that clear and there are all sorts of exceptions. If you are not sure which to use always try to use when/which. It won't always work but most of the time it will.

      Which regard to the part of the sentence that starts: "When you told me that you felt cold, ...."

      If it was what your son told you then this is the sentence I would use:

      I am sorry, in fact, I taught her about it before. It is her secret way to deal with your bullying. You often speak ill of her when you are in bad mood, don't you? It was not her fault. She is always kind to you, right? When you told me that you felt cold, she brought you a blanket. Anyway, you guys are like my sister and me when we were children. We often fought and I used to tell her "I will never talk to again!". But I forgot about it the next day, and played with her again. That's siblings."

      If he said it directly to his sister it would be:

      I am sorry, in fact, I taught her about it before. It is her secret way to deal with your bullying. You often speak ill of her when you are in bad mood, don't you? It was not her fault. She is always kind to you, right? When you told her that you felt cold, she brought you a blanket. Anyway, you guys are like my sister and me when we were children. We often fought and I used to tell her "I will never talk to again!". But I forgot about it the next day, and played with her again. That's siblings."

      Sorry for the somewhat disorganized response it was hard to think of an easy way to answer the questions clearly. If anything is still not clear let me know and I will see if I can come up with better examples.

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