My children and I came home about one hour later than usual yesterday evening because we decided that my 6-year-old son will start to learn Karate and went to the sport club to apply for admission.
My son asked me whether he could watch TV.
I answered him, making dinner.
"It is already 6 o'clock. You should do your homework first."
After a while, I heard a sound which someone was hitting something.
"What are you doing?"
I went to the living then I saw he was hitting his randsel.
"Why do you do like that? It is the randsel which your grandma bought for you! Take care of your thing!"
I was so surprised and scolded him.
"Because I hate homework!"
"But you should do it for you. Do it right now."
I went back to the kitchen.
Afer a while, I was worried about him and went to the living room.
He was scratching his randsel by his finger nail and it got a little scratch.
He looked at me and said,
"Get angry with me!"
I hit his cheek.
"Why do you scratch on it on purpose? Do you understand how do your grandma feel to see what you did to it? Unbelievable! Have you ever thought how another person think by you did? Think it over!"
He looked dissatisfied, but I went back to the kitchen.
After a while, he came to me and said insolently,
"I reconsidered my behavior."
He obviously didn't seem to reconsider it.
I was so disappointed with his attitude and a loss what to do to let him understand the importance of knowing another people's feelings.
"I know you had something bad thing at school, right? What happend?"
After a while, he answered.
"I fought over toys with a friend of mine. "
"Is that all? "
"Yeah. And I am hungry"
"I understand your feeling.
Something bad often happens to everyone.
But, you must not do what you did today no matter how you are in a bad mood.
Do you understand?
The randsel is surely yours, do you think it is no problem that you can damage it because it's yours?
I don't think so!
Your grandma bought it for you, hoping the school life would be enjoyable for you.
I am really sad and disappointed with you.
I can't forgive you unless you really regret what you did even if grandma forgives you!"
I was about to cry.
I really understood his feelings.
Because his character is very similar to mine.
I am also not good at control my emotion, especially since my children were born.
When I was so irritated and can't calm down my anger, I sometimes throw something to de-stress.
I think I am still an inexperienced mother.
That's why I wanted him not to become like me, I wanted him to find another way to de-stress.
He was so surprised to see my angry face and listened to my story eagerly.
After a while, he came to me with crying and said,
"Mom, I am sorry..."
I hugged him and said,
"If there was something unpleasant for you at school, please tell me. If you hit something, you will not be able to resolve your problem, don't you?"
He stopped crying.
I told him, but I also said to myself.
I think it is important to talk to my children from a bottom of my heart to let them know how I feel.
I hit him for the first time.
He understood how I was sad and disappointed.
But I don't think it was the best way, I never want to hit my children to let them follow me.
I think this is not only his problem, but my problem.
I feel keenly that I need to be able to control my emotion, as their mother.
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