12/25/2015

My poor daughter!

My children got up earlier than usual yesterday morning.

They were so glad to get their presents.

I was relieved to see their smiles and I thought my duty finally ended.

Since my husband was on vacation from the previous day, I asked him to pick our 5-year-old daughter up from the nursery school and take her to the park near our house to practise on the kick scooter which she got for a Christmas present.

I guessed that my daughter would want to ride the kick scooter.

I was going to pick our 6-year-old son up from the children's house because I thought he should not go with them.

I could easily guess that he would also want to ride it and he would snatch it from her if he sees that she is riding it.



Unfortunately I needed to work overtime yesterday and I noticed that I couldn't go to the children's house on time.

I called my husband to ask him to pick my son up from the nursery school instead of me.



When I came home, they were not at home and only the light in the living room was on.

My husband's car was there.

I wondered where they were, so I called him.

"We are playing with her kick scooter at the park!"

My son answered his phone.

"It is already dark. Come home early!"



When I was bringing in laundry from the balcony, I heard children's noisy voice from somewhere.

The voice was getting louder, and I noticed that it was my daughter's.

When they came home, she was crying bitterly.

"What happened?"

I asked them.

"She fell down and got hurt!"

My son answered.

She had a bump around her right eyebrow and had scratches on her cheeck, hand, and knee.

"Owie!"

She kept crying.

"Are you OK? Let's put some cream on. Could you ride the kick scooter?"

She answered yes.

"Good for you! Failure teaches success. You will be able to ride it much better soon."

My husband interrupted us.

"No, she didn't fall down while she was riding the kick scooter. She fell down when she was chasing me on our way home."

"What??? Anyway, you should take this calamity as the price of an escape from a greater evil. it could have been worse. I've seen worse. It was good for you that it happened this year than the beginning of the next year."

She cried even more on hearing this.

My words were no comfort to her.

Her bump will become blue today, she will be like "Oiwa-san", who is a famous female ghost in the story called Yotsuya Kaidan written more than 300 years ago, which is one of the most famous ghost stories of Japan.

My poor daughter!


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4 comments:

  1. Hello Kumi-san,

    Another good post. I hope your daughter's bruises heal quickly.

    Japan seems to have some very good ghost stories, I have watched a number of them that have been turned into movies.

    Here is a list of some of the issues found:

    This line:
    I was relieved to see their smile and I thought my duty finally ended.

    Should be:
    I was relieved to see their smiles and I thought my duty finally ended.

    This line:
    Since my husband was in vacation from yesterday, I asked him to pick our 5-year-old daughter up from the nursery school and take her to the park near our house to practise the kick scooter which she got for Christmas present.

    Should be:
    Since my husband was on vacation from the previous day, I asked him to pick our 5-year-old daughter up from the nursery school and take her to the park near our house to practise on the kick scooter which she got for (Christmas/a Christmas present).

    This line:
    I guessed that my daughter would want to ride a kick scooter.

    Should be:
    I guessed that my daughter would want to ride (the/her) kick scooter.

    This line:
    When I was bringing in laundry at the balcony, I heard children's noisy voice from somewhere.

    Should be:
    When I was bringing in laundry from the balcony, I heard children's noisy voice from somewhere.

    This line:
    The voice was getting bigger, and I noticed that it was my daughter's.

    Should be:
    The voice was getting louder, and I noticed that it was my daughter's.

    This line:
    "Are you OK? Let's put some cream on. Could you ride a kick scooter?"

    Should be:
    "Are you OK? Let's put some cream on. Could you ride the kick scooter?"

    This line:
    "No, she didn't fell down while she was riding the kick scooter. She fell down when she was chasing me on our way home."

    Should be:
    "No, she didn't fall down while she was riding the kick scooter. She fell down when she was chasing me on our way home."

    This line:
    "What??? Anyway, you should take this calamity as the price of an escape from a greater evil. I've seen worse. It was good for you that it happened within this year than the beginning of the next year."

    Should be:
    "What??? Anyway, you should take this calamity as the price of an escape from a greater evil. I've seen worse. It was good for you that it happened this year rather than the beginning of the next year."

    Note this expression:
    you should take this calamity as the price of an escape from a greater evil. I've seen worse.

    Would in English more likely be said as:
    it could have been worse. I've seen worse.

    This line:
    She cried more to hear me.

    Should be:
    She cried even more on hearing this.

    This line:
    My word couldn't become any comforts for her.

    Should be:
    My words were no comfort to her.


    This line:
    Poor my daughter!

    Should be:
    My poor daughter!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy New Year Terry!
      Thank you for your corrections again.

      I would like to ask you about this correction below:


      This line:
      Since my husband was in vacation from yesterday,

      Should be:
      Since my husband was on vacation from the previous day,

      Why is the previous day better than yesterday?
      In this case, the day when my husband's New Years Holiday began was exactly a day ago when I wrote this post.
      I often use yesterday in past sentence, but I am not sure that the difference of previous and yesterday.


      Delete
    2. Hi Kumi-san,

      If you take the corrected sentence and use yesterday, as in:

      Since my husband was on vacation from yesterday.

      This is a grammatically correct phrase but it sounds odd.

      Since my husband was on vacation from the previous day.

      Or

      Since my husband was on vacation as of yesterday.

      Or

      Since my husband was on vacation from the day before.

      The above three sentences sound more natural but why I am not really able to explain why.

      It is odd because some sentences sound completely natural when using from yesterday, for example:

      We ate the leftover food from yesterday. (This sounds totally natural)

      Even so we could still use:

      We ate the leftover food from the previous day.
      We ate the leftover food from the day before.


      Sorry I am not really about to give you a useful answer to this one. :(

      Delete
    3. Thank you Terry.
      It is helpful and worthwhile to let me know the odd expressions, I will never notice it!
      But I might make a similar mistake from now on, if you find such kind of mistake, please let me know.
      Thank you so much!

      Delete